DAMN YOU MARIANNE! Now look what you've made me go and do...

For a while now I've been promising myself that I'd loose some weight and grow a personality and Marianne decided to help me with the weight issue. She hawkishly watches what I eat and bitches at me about my portion control and calorific content. I walk into work most morning with Marianne (her clinic is roughly in the same direction) but a few days ago she rushed off slightly early and assuming that she was miles away I started to dawdle into work. However on the way hunger pangs over took all rational thought (I hadn't had any breakfast because my cupboards were bare OK!?) and I popped into a cafe called Zazu's Kitchen in which I ordered a bacon and egg sandwich to take out. Whilst sitting there waiting for my order Marianne stormed in and victoriously exclaimed "CAUGHT YOU!" The rotten swine had double backed on herself to call on Charlie allowing me to over take her in the process so she could catch me out with a bacon sandwich in my mits.

I won't deny that sandwich tasted damn good but I did feel more and more guilty as the morning dragged on. I decided I needed to do something, like some kind of proper exercise but I don't like the idea of going to a gym with their sky high fees plus I don't have the time or the inclination to do that sort of thing. At this point I should say that there is a strong (and quite militant) pro-cycling lobby in my office with many colleagues cycling into work because they; a) they like to cycle; b) it keeps them fit; c) rush hour in Bristol is appalling and d) Firstbus Bristol are a bunch of thieving bastards who could organise a piss-up in a brewery let alone a bloody bus service. I decided to get a bike and commute to work and back on it which would make my journey into work quicker in the mornings whilst burning the calories on the uphill slog to get home. Work is part of cyclescheme which is some kind of government tax fiddle designed to encourage companies to get their workforces cycling into work. My employer buys me a bicycle and safety kit of my choosing (up to a £1000 worth) and charges me a meager hire fee over the next 12 months before selling me the bike at secondhand prices (10% of original price). My employer gets brownie points for being eco-friendly and a workforce that turns up on time because they haven't been stuck in traffic whilst me, the employee, gets a bike at a low price that's paid for over 12 months. Anyway that very lunchtime I toddled down to see the boys and girls at Mud Dock a cafe-cum-bar-cum-bicycle shop which is an approved shop on the scheme and after waiting for the ubiquitous alcoholic Bristolian to finish talking utter rubbish at the staff I got a quote for one of these...

It's a Pashley Roadster Sovereign with hub brakes and gears (I hate derailleur gears) a huge and comfortable Brookes saddle and an enclosed chain drive to protect the chain from the worst of the elements and my trousers from getting caught in it. As well as getting fit there is always hope that I meet a nice lady too (see above post) as this picture suggests...

A nice bit of rump.

Anyway as for the rest of my life my bank balance is taking a kicking as I shell out for re-enactment goodies and I'm thinking about opening an ISSA for a mortgage deposit. I'm preparing to go out on the journey to the utopia of house ownership through the dark land of debt. I'm becoming an adult...