The Disappearence of the Moustache

A hundred years ago a gentleman wasn't properly attired unless he had a moustache. You could not be considered a man until you had one. In some countries manhood is still marked by the growth of upper lip appendage, civilised countries like Iraq and Syria oh wait... shit. Hmm... Moustaches seem to have gone out of fashion in a big way in the Western world and in this post I shall ponder why...

Matt that Aryan Prince among men started all this when he took part in Movember, a charity event where men grow moustaches during the month of November (hence the oh so witty name). It all started in Australia (which some would say would explain alot) and oddly enough that's where Matt's boss comes from and he is the guy who got everyone at Matt's work doing this moustache growing for charity business. However Matt's girlfriend Laura hates his moustache and can't wait for him to remove it. The thing is you can barely see the thing anyway and after only a month's growth it's going to be rather pathetic anyway, see for yourself...

It won't be given a chance to reach it its full potential which is rather sad. Few of my friends and work colleagues have any kind of facial hair and those that do keep it short and heavily trimmed. I have a vast moustache at the moment which is causing all kinds of problems with drinking tea and coffee as it tends to trap the aforementioned beverages and then releases it again in small drips all over my bloody shirt! It's one of the few downsides to moustache (and beard) growth and ownership. A moustache puts a few years on you which is good when you're a spotty 16-17 year old trying to get served at your local boozer, it certainly worked for me I started drinking at a sports club bar when I was still 16. It was a hideous shock for the barman when the local rugby team (of which I was a member) decided to celebrate my 18th birthday at the aforementioned bar, he thought I had been in my early twenties. The age thing with the moustache can go the other way too, the classic example being when a teenager mistook me (a man who was 22 at the time) for a guy in his forties. Either teenagers think everyone over the age of 21 is ancient or it was the fact she was and still is Welsh. The other good points to moustache growth and ownership is there is less to shave and a fine moustache will always look imposing. General Kitchener, hero of Khartoum, had a fine moustache which put the fear of god into the fuzzy wuzzies he fought. Not only that but it also recruited hundreds of British and Commonwealth troops with this snappy poster...

Maybe the blood bath of the first world war sounded the end for the moustache as it was associated with the military. The final death knell was Adolf Hitler and his silly little toothbrush tash despite the valiant efforts of the RAF pilots and their whiskers...

Left: Wing Commander Robert Roland Stanford Tuck DSO, DFC & Two Bars, AFC

Right: Squadron Leader James O'Meara DSO, DFC & Bar

After the war, a group of former RAF men formed the elite handlebar moustache club dedicated to growing and maintaining of moustaches and keeping them in the public eye. The club scored a rip roaring success with the World Beard and Moustache Championship which was held last year (2007) in Brighton and you can see the winners here. The club isn't just old men either with young turks like Atters Attree of the Chap magazine also prominent members.

Anyway back to the original point despite the handlebar club's best efforts the moustache is still not a popular choice. The modern metrosexual man spends too long on the hair on top of his head to worry about maintaining a moustache on his fizzog. I suspect however the blame can be laid at the door of the female of the species. Women are more independent and are far more likely to influence how a man looks and dresses (the metrosexual man is the direct result of this). Now while I'm all for equal rights and such this will cause the marginalisation of the moustache. Alot of women don't like moustaches whether or not they've ever actually kissed a mustachioed gent and this maybe down to commonly held negative associations of male chauvinism and homosexuality. Either way the days of the Victorian man with his bristling mutton chops and highly manicured moustache have sadly disappeared and the moustache is now just grown for silly bets or blogs. Here is a fine mush bush to finish this post with...

Sir Joseph William Bazalgette